Anonymiss in DC

{January 5, 2009}   Verizon Update *4*

I give up.

I really do– I just have had enough.

My phone works, and I am thrilled about that, so don’t get me wrong. I’ll keep it.

But the internet…

So as you may well know, I am addicted to the internet. It’s like my personal, legal crack cocaine. I have to have it.  if I don’t have it, I will go where it is. If it’s not there, I’ll go somewhere else. Eventually it has to be where I am or I will go crazy.

This is where we are now.

As you’ll recall, Mike the Verizon Guy told me that I had a “pending order” to get Verizon High Speed Internet in my apartment building, even though I not only didn’t order it– I specifically CANCELED my internet service in my old building and said I did not want it transferred to my new place because I was told it wasn’t AVAILABLE in my new building.

(This is, apparently, still the case, I should warn)

He also, as I may have mentioned previously, indicated I should probably not change the order or anything because it could mess up my phone which was wired by unconventional means due to the fact that neither my building nor my street exist. Apparently. Got that?

But ok, fine. I loved my Verizon internet at my old place and I told everyone to get it, and I sort of felt genious inside that I didn’t give in to the Comcast mania of the DC metropolitan area. (EVERYONE I know who has Comcast has had VERY UNFRIENDLY things to say about them, and I was feeling all proud that I found a good, reliable alternative.)


So it’s supposed to be activated on the 23rd.


Because I call on the 23rd,  and they say the 24th. No problem, who cares…I’m out of town.

On the 24th, I call up and they say the 29th.


Oh, and by the way, on the 19th, they mailed me a “welcome kit” which UPS delivered to “a man” on December 22nd. Awesome tracking info, UPS. Too bad I don’t know who that “man” is, and there’s no “welcome kit” at my house.

Next question: what the hell is IN the welcome kit? Is there any personal information in there? Is there anything they’re going to try to bill me for? I called UPS, and they say they delivered it to a “man” at my address and that they can’t do anything. There’s no way to talk to the delivery guy…see where he actually dropped it…none of that. They tell me to talk to the shipper: “Verizon Telecommunications.”

So I call Verizon.  I ask what they shipped me, and they say a modem and a filter kit. And I say “Really? Why did you do that? I had service before. ” And they say “Oh, well if you had service before, we just send you a filter kit.” And I say “Well are you sure?” I mean I didn’t even PLACE this order– who knows if they get that it’s a transfer of existing service?

They say yes, but I don’t believe them, so I ask them to “resend” the package, which, I am happy to report, I did eventually receive.

So the 29th comes, and I call Verizon a bunch of times during the day, and they insist it should be working by 6 pm.

But no. Then it’s changed– this time to January 5th.

January 5th?!

I take a few days to sort of recover from this, celebrate the New Year, that kind of thing.

I call them on January 2nd and say “Is it going to be done on the 5th?” and they tell me “Your service is scheduled to begin on January 5th.”

And I say “Right, I get that, but it’s been delayed 3 times already, so I want to know what the issue is and if anything’s being done about it.”

“Well, ma’am….” (Note: I HATE being called ma’am!)…”I see that your service is scheduled for January 5th. It should be working by that date, ma’am, by 6 pm, ma’am.”

“Right, but do you understand what I am saying? It’s been delayed 3 times…how do I know it won’t be delayed again?”

“Do not worry, ma’am. My system is showing your service will be ready on January 5th.”

“Are you SURE? Because I have been waiting since the 23rd, and I don’t want to wait anymore. I will switch services if I have to, but this is just getting ridiculous.”

“I understand that ma’am, and I apologize for that inconvenience, ma’am, but your service should be working by January 5th.”

“Can I speak to the technician?”

“Unfortunately, ma’am, there is no way for me to contact the technician for you.”

“Well then how do I know it’s going to work? I really need this service working.”

“Yes, ma’am, and I am sorry, but your internet should be working by January 5th. You say you have been waiting since the 23rd? Then this is just a few more days, ma’am.”

“I’m not holding my breath.”

“Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

“Well apparently not!” (yes, I said that.)

“Well then, ma’am, thank you for choosing…err…have a nice day, ma’am.”

I’m so glad the right hand speaks to the left one.

And so, today is January 5th.

And I called Verizon’s automated system this morning and it said it’d be done by 6, but then I called again around 2 pm, and it says “Good news! Your service is scheduled to be activated on Wednesday, January 7th.”

So that’s it.  I give up.

I don’t even want to talk to them anymore.

I resisted.

I really did. I tried to get them into my building so that I could have my internet and THEY could have a new market.

They’re a good deal: Verizon offered me $19.99 a month for 6 months, $31.99 a month after that,  I already have the modem, and the installation fee is 19.99.

Crappy Comcast is offering me $33/month for 12 months and $57.95 a month after that (yes, that’s what I said– 57.95 a month– WHAT is THAT?!), and I have to buy their $49.95 modem and pay their $19.95 installation fee AND pray that they actually show up to install when I am there AND that I don’t have to miss work to do it (unlike Verizon, they need to get into your apartment– and they have to do it when you are THERE. So much for the working people!) I have never met anyone– I kid you not– who has told me Comcast showed up when they were supposed to on the day they were supposed to.

So I am excited. I am just full of love for people who deprive me of my internet.

They’re basically a bunch of scam artists, but they’re a bunch of scam artists who have wired my building and acknowledge that it exists, and I need my drug…err, functioning internet connection…or I am going to go insane.

I’m stuck.

If Verizon gets their installation done first, they get to keep me. That’s my preference. Otherwise, I’m stuck with the dark side.

May the best team win.

On your mark, get set, go!

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