Anonymiss in DC

{January 7, 2009}   Verizon Update *6*

“Thank you for calling Verizon Technical Support; my name is Anna; how can I assist you today?”

“Hi Anna. I’m calling because I’d like to know why Verizon delayed my DSL activation from December 23rd to the 24th, to the 29th, to January 5th, 7th, and now to the 9th?”

“Um, okay ma’am, I apologize for that inconvenience. So to confirm, are you calling to check the status of your pending order?”

And even though the flames have ignited, I manage to stay rational.

“Yes, that’s correct.”

Luckily, it only takes THREE tries to get my account phone number correct even though I entered it twice before I got transferred to this person.

And then we have to go through the usual rigmarole of my name, my address, whether I’m the account holder…whether I’d like to put an alternate phone number on file for them to call me back on in case (which by the way, has NEVER happened and WILL never happen, because they always say as soon as they hang up they immediately get another call….)

And now that we’re through that (again), I have to repeat again that my service ready date has been delayed 6 times.

“Yes I said 6 times.. can you please find out what the problem is?”

“I do apologize ma’am…I’m going to call our wonderful network specialist to check the status of this order for you ma’am, ok? May I put you on hold for two to three minutes, ma’am?”


[Bad music break]– and yes– she really did say “wonderful network specialist.”

“Ok, hello, ma’am? I am on the phone with our network specialist and will be returning to provide you with updates. Thank you for your patience during the wait, ma’am.”


[I hear a hundred people providing technical support in a room I imagine is probably the size of my elementary school cafeteria before I’m put on hold and subjected to more elevator music….]

“Ok, hello, ma’am? They have advised me that the service ready date will be January 9th. They have advised me that the reason for the delay was trouble with the telephone line, however, technicians are working on the phone line so it will be ready by 6 pm tomorrow. So tomorrow by 6 pm the DSL light on your modem should be sold green instead of blinking.”

“Tomorrow is the 8th.  Do you mean the 8th or the 9th?”

“Oh, the 9th, ma’am. It is already the 8th here in India, so…”

“Ok, no problem, that’s fine.  Can I talk to the technician?”

“He already hung up, ma’am.”

“Can you call the technician back and ask him to talk to me?”

Aaand she explains to me that she spoke to a level 3 technician; she’s level 2, and they can’t reach the technicians who actually go out to do the wiring. She can, however, like the last guy, put a note in my records so a technician could call me if he reads it.

Yay left hand not being able to reach the right.

“Is there a number for someone who works for Verizon *IN MARYLAND* who I could speak to? Because I could tell them about my problems with the phone line and that might be helpful to them…”

“If you wish to speak to someone in the telephone department, that is a different department and I can give you the number.”

“No, I mean, is there someone in Maryland who works on DSL that I could talk to?”

“Oh, actually, hold on ma’am. I will try to find you a number of a business office.”

And she does, and transfers me, but not before reminding me to please wait for my DSL service to begin working on January 9th by 6 pm.

Thaaaaank you.

And the next thing I know, I’m back in the exact same, identical phone loop. I kid you not, I really have the prompts memorized. Enter my phone number. Press 1 to confirm they got it right. Press 4 to discuss a pending order. Press 1 for high speed internet. Say no, I don’t want a tracking number for the package they sent me with my filter kit. Hit zero.

Be on hold with more bad music…

And get still another person on the other side of the world who asks me my name and then tells me that the servers are down and they can’t see anything and I need to call back in a half an hour.

“What number do I call?”

“The same one, ma’am.”

“Which is?”

And they give me the 800 number you call to get India or the Philippines.

“Actually, I want to speak to someone in my local Verizon office in Maryland.”

“You want to speak with someone in Mary Land?” (Yes, they said “Mary Land.”)

“Yes. Is that possible?”

“Ma’am, I don’t have anything on my screen. I can’t get any numbers. Can you please call back in a half hour?”


“Thank you for calling Verizon Wireless, ma’am. Have a nice day.”


The thing is, I don’t want to yell at these people. They’re working in the middle of the night, probably not getting paid much at all, in a big room clearly jam-packed with other people suffering the same fate…

And I don’t want to yell at them.

They probably think I just don’t want to talk to them because they’re not American, but I swear, that’s not it.

It would be misplaced!

I WANT to yell at my LOCAL DSL people.

I want to give them the whole “This is absolutely ridiculous and by the way I have an order pending with Comcast and you are going to lose my business.. and I never had a problem with your service in my old apartment but this is horrible and unacceptable and I am going to advise everyone I know against getting your service because you are so horribly unreliable…I’ve received no information, no explanation for these delays…” you know, that kind of thing…

And I can’t GET them on the phone! It’s like an endless loop from hell!

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