Anonymiss in DC











{February 6, 2009}   Fun times on Metro!

One of the joys of living in the city are all of the things you see and/or experience while riding the metro all over the place (because who really drives around here, honestly?)

I feel like sharing a few of my favorites.

1. I was once on the train on a Saturday morning when a pretty obviously homeless lady got on the train with a cart with a black tarp draped over it. She smelled (very strongly) of urine, a fact which those of us in the vicinity could not help but notice. When she noticed that we noticed, she lifted the tarp, pulled out a container of Lysol, lifted up her skirt, and began spraying herself.

That was special.

2. Another Saturday morning, I was on an uncrowded metro car with a shady looking guy in a red leather jacket who walked the length of the car and deposited small packages of laundry detergent on empty seats next to people and made an announcement that he had products available for us to purchase. When no one touched them, and most people tried to busy themselves by reading a book or newspaper, playing with their Blackberry, or zoning out with their Ipod, he shouted out that he was giving them to us for free, as a gift. When still no one touched them, he walked the length of the car and took them all back. He walked back to the front of the car and announced that he needed a quarter, because he could take any quarter and turn it into a quarter of a million dollars. When he still didn’t have any takers, he finally took a hint and got off the train.

3. I once transferred to a blue or orange line train at Metro Center, and sat next to this older looking guy who turned out to be kind of insane. I sat down, and after a couple of minutes, he told me that I was a beautiful, beautiful lady with lips the color of roses.  I said “Thanks” (and was feeling very grateful I only had another stop to go). He was quiet for another minute and then he said I was a beautiful sister, and that I deserved to be happy always.  Then he tried to hug me. (Did I mention he had a big booger on the edge of his nose?)

4.  This wasn’t ON the metro, but once I was stepping off the escalator into  the Tenleytown Metro Station when a guy heading towards the escalator threw a punch at the nose of a very prim and proper looking woman in a long dress coat who happened to be walking past him. He missed by about a quarter of an inch, she screamed, and he just kept walking out of the station as if nothing had happened.

Fabulous.

Metro is the best.

I’ll write later about the really truly annoying things people have done on metro recently that have made my blood boil. 😛 You know you are looking forward to it!

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