Anonymiss in DC

{March 15, 2009}   24, Season 7, 7-8 pm

Whaddya know, Olivia’s back. Not that I missed her.

“With all due respect, Ethan, you’re the last person [my mother] should have sent,” she just snipped. Ooh! A back story involving Ethan!! Innnnteerrressting.

I love Renee running around through storm drains and all that (where the hell IS she?)..she finds a cop in uniform and tells him to quick, let Larry know– the attack is on the White House– and like clockwork, he’s just calling it in when he gets gunned down by Baby Dubaku.  So nobody knows what’s about to happen, awesome. And of course, Renee doesn’t grab the walkie. In fairness, I guess she didn’t have a whole lot of time, seeing as the kid with the machine gun was running around, but then again, I kind of think if he was going to shoot her, he could’ve done it about five times already. She’s definitely going to have a face-to-face run in with this kid at some point and tell him Daddy’s kicked the bucket. It’s jut a matter of time.

Meanwhile, in Jack’s holding cell– he’s looking remarkably dapper for a guy who’s just tortured somebody with a tazer gun in a room whose door was blown inwards. Bill shows up to fill him up on what’s going on, and Jack promptly starts yelling at him that he has to get access to Ryan Burnett. Bill’s being wishy washy and says he can’t get to him, so Jack launches into bunch of cliches like “Damnit, Bill! He was talking when they stopped me!” and, “If you don’t do this, people will die!”, and “Damnit, Bill! That’s not good enough!”  …

You know, the usual stuff.

But Bill says “I just can’t do it Jack! It’s not me!”

Is this another back story about Bill, or are am I supposed to think he just realized he hasn’t been a field agent for the last six seasons?

Meanwhile, the bad guys are on their way into the White House, and they are apparently throwing knives. (That’s interesting– they have big guns but they are throwing knives?)  As an aside…I know Juma’s supposed to be the big scary boss, and all, but he’s just not creepy in the same way that Dubaku was. Dubaku was really creepy. Just the way he talked was enough to creep me out. This guy just looks like your typical bully– only he has weird eyes that make him look like he’s always squinting.  I kind of miss Dubaku…

[Commercial Break]

So NOW they’re using the guns. Apparnently the knife-chucker is off duty.  And I love how no one in the White House hears the gunfire…

Meanwhile, Larry’s apparently found Renee’s general locale– not sure how– but AH HA– did I call this or what?!– Renee’s face-to-face with Dubaku’s kid. Bad news, bears! And earlier than I would have expected– she comes out with “Juma had your father killed!”

He looks a little bit worried it might be true, but eventually says he doesn’t belive her, so she grabs a conveniently present shovel and starts beating the crap out of him with it. She gets herself into a bit of trouble and is about to be strangled, but luckily, her knight in shining armor (aka Larry) shoots the kid before she can go unconscious and/or die. (Damn. I thought he’d be useful later in getting to Juma.  There goes that possibility. Didn’t expect that to happen..)

In other news, Bill’s heard from Renee that the target is the White House, and he also figures out that they’re tracking the president using some nifty wristband she’s got on for the Secret Service to use.  Bill, brilliantly, gets it off of her, and starts running down a hallway with it so they won’t be able to track her anymore.  Very noble, except that he went alone.  What the hell did he think he was going to do when he ran into all those guys with machine guns? Really? Juma looks like he’s thinking about shooting him, but instead, he just pistol-whips him and tells his guys to keep him as a hostage.

Meanwhile, Aaron’s with Olivia, and he’s trying to keep her safe. (Please don’t let them kill Aaron! I love Aaron! Why do I feel like this isn’t going anywhere good??)

Of course, once they found out there were bad guys inside, Bill had to let Jack loose (I mean, obviously! This whole thing would be lame without Jack!), and so Jack’s taken charge of locking down the president. Not sure if that would have been HIS assigned job– seeing as he has such an awesome track record in the White House today– but I guess when stuff hits the fan, anything can happen. Just in the nick of time, he gets her into one of those steel-reinforced rooms. Juma realizes nobody knows he doesn’t have her, so he gets all the Secret Service guys to “stand down” by saying he HAS the president, and will kill her if they don’t.

And Taylor’s not in fact out of the woods yet, because the bad guys have a hacker on staff, and they had an insider get them codes to open the door to her saferoom. Jack’s on the scene though– and he does what Jack does and shorts out the system. (Is he quick on his feet or what?)

Juma’s pissed, and says they WILL find a way in. They WILL.

I take this to mean he’s going to start shooting prisoners every ten minutes or something and telling her that the blood’s on her hands….but then I remember Olivia.  I assume it’s just a matter of time until they find her and Aaron and use her as bait to get the president to open the door.

So what to do now?

Juma calls…..Jon Voight… who appears to be having a very nice dinner. He’s a classy guy– he even has his napkin tucked into his collar.  Voight takes the call and matter-of-factly tells Juma he gave him the codes to the door, so “my part of this thing’s over.”   Ha. Right.

But Juma has a bargaining chip: a “shipment” that Voight desperately needs/wants.  A shipment of what, we don’t know. Voight mumbles something about “doing the honorable thing” and staying true to their deal. HA! Bad guys don’t do honorable things! C’mon, Jonny!

Juma says he’s going to DESTROY that shipment…and Jonny’s thug tells him he probably could if he wanted to. So Jonny takes the bait, and says not to worry– Olivia’s in the building. Get her, you’ll get the president.

It’s 7:39 pm.

Juma examines his hostage pool, but he doesn’t have his prize. Yet.  As he’s doing this, we get a shot of Aaron and Olivia. Aaron says their only chance is to get a signal out that the bad guys are bluffing about having the president, and that he wants to leave her in a safe location while he goes to do this.  She says no way– she’s coming with him. (Surprise!) Aaron, who is, after all, used to dealing with stubborn women, simply mutters “Ok” and starts walking down the hallway with his pistol pointed forward.

Great. They’re toast.

…And it’s 7:41 pm.

Larry and Renee are now using Cisco (the human network), to chat with the vice-president. They think maybe Juma’s bluffing about having the president, because he’s got everyone parked in a strange area of the White House– right outside the saferoom.  But the VP’s not allowing them to go in– he says they can’t risk the president’s life. What if she’s not in the safe room?

He gets off the phone, and his aide says “Good job”– it wouldn’t look good if the VP  got to be president by ordering an operation in which the president might be killed.  The VP shoots him a dirty look and says not to let anyone hear him talk like that. Hrmm… why are vice presidents always jerks on this show?

Aaaand…rounding the corner, Aaron’s shot (looks like in the shoulder) by a bad guy, but he manages to kill him. He tells Olivia she’s got to do the signaling. She goes to do it, but, of course, a bad guy grabs her. She makes quite a squeal.

And it’s 7:55 PM.

Juma sticks Olivia in a chair in front of the camera attached to the chandelier in the ceiling, and he doesn’t just say he’s going to kill her– he says he’s going to cut out her eyes one at a time, followed by her tongue, and then her head.

Woooow. Taylor, of course, orders Jack to open the door, and he does (reluctantly), just as Juma’s getting ready to slice the kid open.

Yikes. I think maybe I was wrong about his not being as creepy as Dubaku.  I think I’m taking it back.

Jack comes out, followed by the president. They pat him down and shove him down with the rest of the hostages. Mayer, always helpful, says “Bauer, what have you done?” (I somehow manage not to throw something at the screen and say “Shut up, @$$hole!”)

Taylor tells Juma that now that he has her, he should let everyone else go. Unimpressed, he slaps her across the face pretty good, and her lip is bleeding.  Everyone looks shocked, like they know they are all toast.

Juma says, very slowly, very meaningfully–  “You.Don’t.Give.Orders.To.Me.”… and then he tells his thugs to prepare for “the address.”

“What address?” she says.

“The last one you’ll ever give,” he responds.

Ewww. Creepy! And they still have the knife on Olivia.


THIS episode– this one right here– THIS is why I watch 24.


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