Anonymiss in DC

{April 13, 2009}   24 Season 7, 11 pm – 12 am, 12 am-1 am

Home stretch! 8 hours to go!

So 11-12 was another pretty exciting one. I love this show.  I really really do.

Comments from others:

P: Last episode [11-12] was more dramatic than usual.

S: This season is SO much better than last season. (My response to this was:  “Yeah…what happened last season again? :P)

So let’s see…where do I even start.

I thought it was hilarious that CDC pulls over to the side of the road with this big massive truck, and they all get out in their biohazard suits, make Jack strip naked, and essentially powerwash him. Aren’t we like,  in the shoulder lane? Can you imagine if you were driving down the road and you saw all these people in biohazard suits powerwashing a buck-naked Jack Bauer? I’m sure that wouldn’t freak anyone out at all!

I couldn’t help but roll my eyes a little bit at everyone taking an obligatory pause to check out Jack’s patchwork quilt of scars. The CDC people, then Renee… blah blah blah.  It’s not like I forgot that Jack is tougher than Superman!

For a sec there, when Jack was sitting in the isolation quarters inside the truck, and they opened the doors, I thought “Oh good, he’s not infected” (while simultaneously being like “Really?? What are the chances of that? That would have been kind of interesting.”)

But then I had one of those “Oh.” Moments. A few minutes later we find out he is— in fact– infected with an extra deadly prion variant related to  Creutzfeldt-Jakob (the fancy schmancy name for Mad Cow disease, in humans).  He’ll die in 1-2 days, but he’s not contagious. Fabulous.

Great, great, great, little scene between Larry and Renee. Larry comes into her little holding cell and tells her that she was right about Jack and Starkwood, and fills her in on what’s going on. He ‘fesses up that Jack got exposed. Renee is crushed. She stares into space and two big tears stream down her cheeks as Larry gets into the particulars. (And somehow, neither her mascara, nor her eyeliner, run.  I couldn’t help but notice.)

I feel sorry for her, but I feel even sorrier for Larry…who clearly would like to take her in his arms and all that…except, you know, this might have been prevented if he’d just believed her. He says he owes her an apology. “You should have trusted me, Renee,” he says, like his heart is broken in two. “I know,” she says.

Awwwww! These two are so cute.

Now, does this mean Larry’s going to die? Probably. Maybe there will be another weepy Jack/Renee scene!

Anyway….so they have this adorable moment, but it quickly ends.

“When are we moving on Starkwood?” she says, snapping them back to reality. Obviously, somebody’s ready to leave the holding cell.

When Jack shows up, she looks kind of like she’s going to keep crying, but Jack’s pretty stoic about the whole ordeal. She says she heard he risked everything to save the port guard’s life.  Jack kind of nods like  “Yeah, well, so much for impressing you.. I’m going to be dead tomorrow. ”

“You did the right thing,” she says meaningfully, before figuring out that he’s not in the mood to share a Kodak moment.

Back to Jack’s situation–  CDC took like 10 minutes to analyze Jack’s “samples”, determine what the pathogen is and where it came from, and to decide that while he’s screwed, he’s not at all contagious. Wouldn’t you be a little more careful about that, just in case? It is kind of convenient if he’s going to  have some gutwrenching lip-locking scenes with Renee…but otherwise…

Random side note:  Prion infections can be contagious, like, for instance, if you are a cannibal.  I remember this from college! Behold: Kuru, a disease once endemic among the Fore tribe in Papua New Guinea, who ate the bodies and brains of their deceased as part of a funeral rite.   (I hate to be ethnocentric, but isn’t that creepy?) Anyway, I guess they assume no one’s planning on eating Jack, so they figure he can walk around until he starts hallucinating and otherwise visibly dying.

Random side note 2:  By the way, CDC, Wikipedia says that prion diseases, or “transimissible spongiform encethalopathies“:

cannot be transmitted through the air or through touching or most other forms of casual contact. However, they may be transmitted through contact with infected tissue, body fluids, or contaminated medical instruments. Normal sterilization procedures such as boiling or irradiating materials fail to render prions non-infective.

Hmmmm. I know, I’m a nerd. Shut it.  (And leave me alone about citing Wikipedia.)

So what’s the take-home message?

No vampire bat-like activities, Jack!

What about making out? Maybe they should double check that, you know, for Renee’s sake.

ANYWAY. Back at the White House, where Ethan’s just resigned, President Taylor decides to make her bratty, trouble making daughter Olivia her acting Chief of Staff.

Umm, ok. So, what, like 2 hours ago you’re estranged and haven’t seen each other in ages, and now you’re hugging, having heart-to-hearts, and appointing her your Chief of Staff?  I think it’s a bit of a stretch, but seeing as it has been a long day, and it’s now almost 12 midnight and we just learned about another imminent attack…I guess I’ll let it slide.

But here’s a thought:  Olivia seemed pretty indignant when she heard Starkwood had brought in a biological weapon. Was she somehow involved with them at some point during her lobbying career? Did this have something to do with her fallout with her Mom– who worked to limit Starkwood’s influence? (Or was the problem simply the stuff that went on with her leaking stuff to the press?) Not sure if I’m reading too much into this or not, but it’s kind of awesome that I’m not sure…

Also, Olivia went and asked Aaron to be in charge of her security, even though Aaron is retired and all that. So yay, we’ll be seeing more of Aaron, but….what’s going to happen that’s going to require serious security?? Obviously something!! And does this mean they might kill Aaron yet? Because that would kind of suck..

What else happened. Well, Tony, as P put it, went from totally screwed, to ok, to totally screwed again over the course of a single hour. He’s caught and beaten up by the bad guys, he tells Jon Voight to go to hell because he’s not telling him what the FBI knows (does he really know anything that would be useful to them anyway??).  Then Jonny and his thuggy guy Seaton (I had to look up his name) have a little chat practically in front of Tony during which Seaton’s all like, umm, crap,  maybe this isn’t such a good idea after all and we should cut our losses and get the heck out here…and Jonas looks peeved and snaps something about “Keep your doubts to yourself!”)

Next thing we know, someone’s about to shoot Tony and get rid of him as useless, when Seaton shoots him, and says he’s not going to jail because Jonas has lost his mind. He says he knows where the weapons are, and he’ll tell if he gets immunity.

Blah blah blah, Tony calls the FBI,  immunity’s granted, the president “e-signs” off on it (ha), and the FBI heads off to warehouse to meet Tony,  find the weapons and save the world…

…And it’s the emptiest building I’ve ever seen.


Set up, AGAIN!

(Then again, REALLY, we knew something had to go wrong, right? 7 hours to go! Plus, wasn’t that whole conversation between Seaton and Jonas a little contrived, or am I just not trusting anyone anymore??)

Jonas (I’m getting used to calling him Jonas), smirks as he sees the FBI in the open warehouse on his security cam’s monitor. “Well whaddya know,” he says. Seaton bought him some time to get the weapons ready to deply before the feds arrive. Dun dun dun!

The good guys are super pissed off at having been deceived. Especially Tony. Poor Tony.

“Tony was threatening to kill me, so I told him what he wanted to hear!” insists Seaton. Ugh! What a slug! Grow a pair!

Luckily, for once, Larry seems willing to believe that people can be set up, so hopefully this won’t be an issue later.

But, so now what? Keep looking for the weapons? Guess so.

Except, now, to add insult to injury, a TON of Starkwood bad guys in hummers with big guns and bright lights come out and surround them. They tell them to get the hell out of there…they’re defending their property!

Larry looks peeved. “We have a warrant from the President of the United States to search!” he says indignantly, like he’s saying “But my mom gave me that lunch money!”

The guy with the gun– who happens to be the guy Seaton allegedly shot (I didn’t even notice this before)– is unimpressed. He announces that Larry’d better get his guys out of there or they’re going to fire on them, federal agents or not.

And the clock strikes midnight.

Up next, we learn that apparently Olivia is still up to no good. She’s going to meet that shady reporter guy she was talking to earlier at a hotel because he’s now threatening to reveal how she got Ethan in trouble so she could have his job.

I’m thinking: “Great, because meeting people in hotels is always a good idea on this show.”

Aaron takes her over there to meet this journalist, and he says he’s got to do a sweep of the room before she goes in. She gives him this manipulative little speech about how she appreciates it, but she’s fine, and he consents.

I found this annoying, except that I think Aaron’s smarter than he lets on. As I said before, he’s used to difficult, sneaky women. In this case,  maybe he’s not sweeping the room because he figures she wouldn’t be such a big loss, anyway. (I agree.)  I’m sure he can see right through her little patronizing banter.

She goes in. I’m totally ready for an argument that goes violent (*yawn*, been there done that), but instead, she coolly takes off her jacket and rather obviously sets something down on the counter by her bag (more about that in a second).  Of course, she gets suckered into telling him what’s going on with the biological weapons being on US soil and says not to tell.  Seeing as they are in a hotel, he says he’ll keep the story if she’ll “convince” him. Ewww…

Of course, when they’re getting dressed, she’s looking nervous and says something like “Seriously, don’t tell, ok?”  Right. Because that is likely to work. He looks quite comfy rolled up in the sheets as he informs her, nah, thanks for the lay, but I’m going to be a big star when I break this story.

Olivia’s pissed. But remember that thing she sort of obviously set down on the table?  She videotaped the whole thing, and, for good measure, she plays back a clip of them getting down and dirty. Then she lets him know that if he goes public with the story, she’ll let everyone know how he got it, and that she’s sure his wife will especially love it. “It’ll be a nasty divorce,” she says, squinting her eyes at him.

Ha!  I smile in spite of myself, as a look of fear goes over his face. Take that, you smug @$$!

I’m expecting him to grab the cell phone and smash it into a million pieces, but he just stares at her,frozen in place.  She flounces out of there, flashes Aaron a smile, and heads back to Mommy Dearest. (Again, I love how Aaron always looks like he knows there’s something sketchy going on, but he doesn’t wanna go there. It’s really great. That smile of his is priceless!) Presumably the Olivia stuff isn’t over, which kind of sucks. It may be semi-entertaining (hell– they had to an an “S” for Sexual Situations  to the “Viewer Discretion is Advised” warning), but news flash, Fox: it’s just not that intriguing.

Meanwhile…Jack couldn’t go out to the field to help out because he could start showing symptoms at any time. Aww! Poor Jack! He looks so defeated I kind of want to cry. He actually cracks a pathetic joke with Larry about it, instead of ripping his face off. This is so not like him.

It’s ok, Jack!! Keep the faith!!

And luckily, this hour, its all okay, because he can manage field ops from FBI with one of those little ear things. I actually temporarily forget he’s going to die, as he, Renee, and Janis are doing the “comm”  thing with Tony and Larry.

The latter two– under the gun, literally– are surreptitiously chatting into their ear pieces. It’s one of those “Umm, crap, what do we do now” moments. They have no idea where the weapons are and it’s a big base, and umm, there are lots of guns pointed at them.

For good measure, Jonas shows up and starts screaming irrationally at Larry. He looks like his eyes are about to bug out of his head. He defended this country. He is a patriot. And this is how he is repaid for his service!

Blah blah blah. ..I can tell he’s pissed about the government trying to wreck his company…I’m just not sure I’m convinced he’s really as evil as they want us to believe he is.  (Plus, honestly, he’s so old, I feel like if he keeps going on like this, he’s going to pop an aneurysm and drop dead.)

Are we going to find out there’s an ulterior motive? Like, you know, Mayer did some exposee on Starkwood’s military operations which blew their cover somewhere and got his whole family executed? Something legitimately compelling? Because this is just not selling it.

I’m trying to figure out how they’re going to get out of this one, when Renee and Jack randomly figure out that there’s some guy on the inside of Starkwood who was helping Senator Mayer with the Starkwood investigation.  And get this! He’s working late tonight!

Phew, just when there were no believable options…

The plan now becomes Tony finding this guy and getting his help to find the bioweapons. Of course, that’s kind of hard seeing as they are at gunpoint and all, oh, and that they have to get on the helicopters and get the hell off Starkwood’s property.

So they have to create a diversion, and Larry nobly obliges by picking a fight with Seaton. He’s promptly knocked off his feet…and I feel kind of sad. He’s like a little kid getting beat up on the playground! Poor guy.

Miraculously, this little event catches the attention of every single one of those Starkwood guys, because no one notices Tony yoinking one of their bags and going into the warehouse as Moss et al. get on the helicopters and hightail it on out of there.  Of course, Doug is ready to help.

So the FBI gets the satellite coverage going for Tony, and they find a spot where there’s no infared, because presumably they’re using some kind of “shield.” Janis is trying to be Chloe by being generally obnoxious and condescending and muttering that she needs more time to get the door codes, even though the bad guys are about to close in on them.  Blah. This would be so much better if it were actually Chloe, and not wannabe Chloe.  Even though Doug’s a bigwig at the company, Jonas’s thugs escort him to his office to wait for a personal meeting with Jonas himself. Dun dun dun!

Tony needs more help, but Jack’s not doing so good. He’s sweating, and seems to be having weird pains because every so often he looks like he’s about to keel over. He’s also shaking like crazy, but trying very hard to hide it.  He manages ok, until he collapses to the floor, shaking like he’s having a seizure, with his eyes bugging out of his head. “Get me a medic!” shrieks Renee.

Luckily, he’s ok, because the CDC lady has been hanging out at FBI headquarters, and she’s got syringes full of stuff Jack can inject himself with every few hours to control the shaking– which, she says ominously– they wouldn’t have expected to start this early. She also drops that there’s a possible experimental treatment that would involve stem cells, and that the best match is a family member. Jack says no way, Jose.

He and Renee then have an emotional argument, because Renee thinks Jack should call Kim (or, as I’ve taken to calling her, courtesy of M. Giant over at Television Without Pity, “Spawn.”) Jack says he doesn’t want her getting involved, they don’t talk, he obviously feels guilty for having screwed up her life, getting her mother killed, etc. Renee pipes up that Kim should know. She should decide whether she wants to help. Jack says it’s none of her business, and to let it go. He’s going back to work.

Because, you know, that’s going to happen. 😛 *snore*

Still, I gotta hand it to them, I really like Renee. It’s kind of awesome that Jack’s met somebody as ballsy as he is. She’s not having any of his B.S.  I expect we’ll be seeing Kim soon, and that Jack’s going to be mightly peeved with Renee when she does show up.

Anyway, so Tony gets the building door open, kills a bunch of guys, decks himself out in Starkwood clothes, and takes the elevator down to the weapons lab, where he whips out his Sprint phone.   He apparently gets crystal-clear reception like four stories underground because he takes a picture of the missiles and sends it to Jack’s also-very-visibly-branded Sprint phone for “visual confirmation.”  Enough with the advertising already. Jeez!

Now that Jack’s confirmed it’s them by a thorough analysis of a 1 megapixel image on a 2 x 4 inch screen, an airstrike is ordered…

Meanwhile, Jonas goes to visit Doug, and babbles some more irrational stuff about how he’s a patriot, he wants to protect his country, he built this company from the ground up. He’s pouring himself a drink from a heavy glass decanter and he decides to use it to pummel Doug over the head a few times. Then, for good measure, he hurls Doug’s body over the railing to the floor below.


He looks slightly grossed out by the blood, especially since he’s got some on his shirt, so he starts dabbing at it with a napkin and some cold water, presumably wondering if any of his minions have Tide pens.

Fortunately for all of us, he’s got more pressing matters to deal with, as the bad guys have detected the F-18s on their way to blow the crap out of the weapons lab.

Jonas calls the president and says he’s got a couple of pretty impressive weapons ready to shoot canisters of the pathogen on American cities if she doesn’t get her F-18s out of his airspace. He’s even hacked into her computer monitors so he can send her the pictures!

Then he gives her 30 seconds to call off the airstrike. She bolts down the hallway in a panic, runs into the situation room, and demands that they call off the strike. NOW!

She then leaves the room, giving nobody any explanation as to why she just did that (which is bound to backfire).

It’s 1 am.

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